Jake, my husband, surprised me by giving me a plan to “become a better wife.” I didn’t explode, however; I just went along with it. Jake had no idea that I was about to give him a lesson that would cause him to reconsider his newfound attitude on marriage.Being the calm one in our marriage has always been something I’ve taken great pleasure in. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Jake was so vulnerable, you know? He’d fall head over heels for the next fad, whether it was a new pastime or that strange YouTube video that claimed to have the magic formula for a better existence.So long as Jake didn’t meet Steve, we were solid. Steve was the brash, self-confident kind who would ignore your corrections because he believed his strong opinions made him right. Also, who would have thought that he was a person who was never in a relationship?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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who lovingly offered marital counsel to his married coworkers, Jake included. Jake ought to have known better, but my sweet hubby was head over heels with Steve’s self-assurance.Until Jake began to make some nasty remarks, I didn’t give it much consideration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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According to Steve, a wife’s leadership role in the home is crucial to the success of any marriage. Alternatively, “Steve believes that wives should always put their best foot forward for their husbands, regardless of the length of their marriage.” Every time it got to me, I would respond with an eye roll and a caustic comment, but it was driving me crazy. Jake got ready to change. When I let the dishes go unwashed because I had a full-time job (oh no!), he’d look at me sideways or scowl if I ordered takeout instead of making dinner. It transpired thereafter. After a long day, he returned home with The List.I was seated at the kitchen table as he unfolded a sheet of paper and handed it to me. “I’ve been thinking,” he began, his voice betraying an air of superiority that was new to me. Lisa, you are an excellent wife. However, there is potential for growth. I arched an eyebrow. Then what? Ignoring the potentially hazardous area, he gave the signal. I see. According to what Steve told me, “You know, if you stepped up a bit, our marriage could be even better.”I glared at the sheet of paper before me. A timetable… under the bolded title “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife,” which he had created.Actually, this person had planned my whole week around Steve’s (a single man with little marital experience) ideas for how I should “improve” my role as a wife. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
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Every morning at five o’clock, I had to whip up a sumptuous breakfast for Jake. My next stop would be an hour at the gym, where I would “stay in shape.”Then what? Lovely list of housekeeping tasks: dusting, folding, and ironing. This was all done prior to my departure for work. Every night when Jake and his pals visited, I had to prepare a homemade dinner and some elegant treats to share. It was offensive and sexist on so many ways that I couldn’t even begin to describe it. My husband’s mental state drove me to stare at him in disbelief.”This is going to be fantastic for both of us,” he went on, completely unaware.”Keep things organized, Steve says; I believe you’d benefit from \u2014” “What could I gain from?” I broke in, my voice uncomfortably low. Jake was taken aback by the sudden interruption, but he quickly got back on his feet. “Well, from having a plan and some direction, you know.” I was going to ask him if he had a death desire and then hurl that paper at him. On the contrary, I grinned, which was an unexpected move even for me.Jake, you’re absolutely correct,” I said gently.\u00a0 Your creating this itinerary for me is a stroke of luck. Starting tomorrow is my plan. His expression betrayed his immediate relief. As I stood up and attached the list to the refrigerator, a pang of sympathy welled up inside of me. Nearly there. No one had warned him of what was to come. As I reviewed the absurd timetable the next day, I couldn’t help but grin. Jake was about to discover the limits of organization in our lives when he believed he could come up with a list of “improvements” to give me.With a new document in front of me, I took out my laptop and labeled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” The ideal woman was what he sought? Very well. Yet, excellence did not come without a price.I started by making a list of all the items he had recommended, beginning with the gym membership he was so enthusiastic about. Actually, it was rather comical. A personal trainer will cost $1,200. My laughter was almost audible as I wrote.Then the meal arrived. Our present food budget couldn’t support Jake’s extravagant eating habits. Is everything you buy organic, non-GMO, and free-range? Those items were not inexpensive. “$700 monthly for groceries,” I jotted down. Additionally, he would likely have to put money aside for a culinary lesson. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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